Tag Archives: writing

Now Available: Creating Hope

I’ve got a short story in this brand new collection from The League of Utah Writers.

My story, titled Tenuous Traditions, is one I wrote as a way to process a lot of feelings rooted in the COVID pandemic and which was extremely cathartic to write. I didn’t know if it would ever be published, but when the open call about creating hope was announced, I knew this was a perfect fit. I’m thrilled to have been selected, and honored to share space with so many fantastic authors. The entire collection is all about creating hope and includes both fiction and nonfiction. This theme is one very welcome given the world we are living in.

Available in ebook and print HERE.


Now Available: Nightmares of My Own

Here it is! My book baby is officially out in the world with distribution at more places than *just* Amazon. If you want a print copy, you can get that, too.

Here’s the blurb from the back cover:

Humanity hunted to the brink of extinction, hauntings and possessions, lost loves, alternate realities, and more await to entertain and delight readers in this collection from award-winning author, Terra Luft. Step inside for a journey through a decade of publishing that will take you from science fiction to contemporary, and horror to urban fantasy.

A first, and way too long in the making I know, this is a book of short stories written entirely by me. Includes a brand new story and poems not published before, and a peek behind the scenes about how each story came to be. I can’t wait for you to read it! Available in ebook and print HERE.

Next up: figuring out how to sell stuff directly on my website (is that a thing people would want?) I know folks have said they want signed copies so I have to figure that part out at least. Then finishing my latest novel and getting an agent…


Nightmares of My Own – Behind the scenes

What a whirlwind the last six months have been! I’ve said for many years that I am too busy to act as my own publisher and that when the time comes to publish my novel-length work I will seek an agent and go the traditional publishing route where I have professionals every step of the way. Editing, book cover design, formatting, publishing, marketing… it all takes skills I do not have. But when I decided that I wanted to publish a collection of short stories, I realized that all of them had already been through edits and all I really needed to do was collect them in a single place. I have friends who have skills who were willing to help me and who made it all seem so effortless.

Let me tell you: IT WAS NOT EFFORTLESS! This may have been the most reckless thing I’ve done in a long time, in fact. It’s been a while since I’ve shared details of my writing journey here and I thought, they deserve to hear about the journey!

I came up with this idea mid-summer last year (2023) before my day job exploded with an intense project that won’t be done until late 2025 and has me working far more than 40 hours a week. More on that as I walk through the timeline!

First, I collected all my previously published stories and read through them to see what theme I could come up with. Where I realized that one of my earliest stories was not really worthy of being included so I had to rewrite it. Which also meant I had to go all the way through the editing process with my critique group and hire a copyeditor. This took several months from start to finish. It was during this part in the fall of 2023 that I put the whole project on hold until the overwhelm of work at the day job was a little more managed.

Once that side quest was done, it was spring of 2024. I still had to come up with a theme that tied all of my stories together and figure out what order I was going to put them in. This may seem like a trivial step, but it was fraught with peril. Maybe that was partly due to my perfectionism and knowing that no one else could do this step for me (I know, because I tried to get advice from everyone in my closest writing circles) and that I had to live with the decisions forever. This was happening during the same timeframe as the last stages of editing and rewriting of that one story, so that was a partial win at least.

Second, I finally had a file ready to hand off to my wonderful friend with formatting skills for hire and a shiny title to go with it. She quickly turned around a proof and told me it was time to order my cover. Exciting and also much more expensive than I had been ready for. It’s only money, right? And this was an exciting step which I thought meant I would be almost at the finish line. HA! I was wrong. That was back in September.

Third, going through my first proof, I realized that past Terra had not planned ahead and set future Terra up for success in this endeavor, because several of the files I had saved were NOT the versions that had made it into print as I thought they were. What gave this away? The return of a pesky little problem with quotation marks pointing the wrong way that I found and which I then recalled vividly from almost a decade ago. Luckily Big Sister has aspirations of being an audiobook narrator and was willing to record audio version from the print versions so I could compare and update. This took several weeks. And resulted in extensive edits in the formatted file. Which also took a couple of weeks.

Fourth, I got an updated proof to go through with a fine-tooth comb to find any formatting or grammar issues before finalizing things. I employed my trusted critique partners for proofreading so a fresh set of eyes could find the things I’d missed. Assuming at this point there would likely be none to find. It was during this read-through that I realized that while I had benefitted from copyedits and proof reading with every previously published story, there were style inconsistencies over the years and over the different publishers I had worked with. Which meant that my collection was not consistent in its style. To my horror, I had early stories where internal thoughts were italicized, even! (Yes, this is horror inducing, trust me!) Plus, formatting rules for ellipses have a tendency to change regularly! Getting these things all consistent throughout the book took several more weeks.

Finally, I was at the finish line and ready for the final files. Which meant purchasing ISBN numbers (the fancy catalog numbers that tell anyone who will sell your books the identifying features of each format.) Which meant I had to have a business name. Which meant I had to decide if I was going to do an LLC or something else. And do I need or want a business logo to include on my cover? Because despite the horror-inducing graphic design class I took during my undergraduate studies, I still don’t have any of those skills! Another bunch of money later (which I didn’t even realize was going to be an expense), a late-evening design session with my talented friend, and navigating business filing waters I’d never even dipped my toe into, and here we are. The actual finish line!

I have advanced reader copies out to several people who asked along the way and the kindle version went live for pre-orders a couple of days ago. It was only two weeks later than I had originally planned but it still is super exciting! Check it out HERE if you prefer eBooks. Once paperbacks are available (and I’ve figured out THOSE next steps) I hope to have a way for folks who want a signed copy to purchase those and get them shipped out. If you’re a local friend, I’m also working on a book launch where you can get signed copies locally and save us all shipping costs.

At the end of this journey looking back, I’m so glad I didn’t put this off until the perfect time because I know there is no such thing. I just had to take small steps and keep pushing forward to make it happen. New achievement unlocked: a book with only my name on the cover everywhere books are sold!


Now Available: A Sixth Sense

I have another announcement! I wrote a short story that won an Honorable Mention in the Literature and General Fiction category in the 2024 Olive Woolley Burt Awards, but was also just released in this new collection called “A Sixth Sense.” It is a story about a psychic but it is also a love letter to my favorite U.S. city. If you’ve been to New York, you’ll find an even more enjoyable layer to this story. I hope you enjoy it if you grab a copy.

Here’s what the publisher has to say about the whole collection:

Near-death experiences, the power of love, and magical forces at work in the everyday. When other senses aren’t enough, there is another hidden below. Is it intuition, premonition, or something else? Come explore the depth and variety of stories within A Sixth Sense, an anthology written by the Blue Quill Chapter.

A Sixth Sense

This is available now in both ebook and print HERE or wherever you buy books.


Now Available: Taste of Change

I love getting to announce new things. I wrote a fun story that not only won third place in the Romance category in the 2023 Olive Woolley Burt Awards, but was also just released in this new collection called “Tempting Truths.” Yes, I wrote a romance of my own type of flavor but it isn’t just romance, it has a bunch of paranormal elements and family drama to round it out. I hope you’ll pick this one up and read it.

Here’s what the publisher has to say about the whole collection:

Ambrosia, and borscht, and seagull poop cookies, oh my! Life experiences are as diverse as our culinary choices. Sweet, spicy, or savory. Just as there are many different tastes, this collection features stories about gods, addiction, family dynamics, near-death experiences, and cooking as an art form. They all have one thing in common – a meal that changes someone’s perspective or worldview. You’ll never be the same after devouring this book.

Taste of Change

This is available now in both ebook and print HERE or wherever you buy books.


Now Available: ReminiScents

It’s been a little quiet around here, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been working hard on new things. Last year I wrote a very cool story that just released in this new collection focused on scents called “Trace Amounts.” I had a blast writing this one, and have no idea how to adequately describe it without giving away the ending. A little paranormal, a little new age, a little romance, with a little horror like a cherry on top. If any of that appeals to you, I hope you’ll pick this one up and read it.

Here’s what the publisher has to say about the whole collection:

The smell of your favorite spaghetti sauce. The pungent bite of eucalyptus. A waft of long-forgotten perfume. A particular scent transports us to a place and time like nothing else. Whether these memories are welcome or wanted, they are waiting to be relived. In this collection, you’ll experience how smells elicit the emotions of the love and loss of family, premonitions of death, fear of the supernatural, and so much more.

ReminiScents

This is available now in both ebook and print HERE or wherever you buy books.


I Did A Thing – The flash fiction edition

Have you ever done something on a total whim and surprised yourself? One of my writing groups does a flash fiction contest every month and the top four stories are featured in their online magazine. In May, I went to one of the meetings where a perfect storm of things came together.

  • It was the last day before the deadline
  • The theme resonated with me and immediately a story idea popped into my head
  • The President of the group said “It’s only 1000 words, just sit down and write it – what do you have to lose?”

It was like he was speaking directly to me, although he was in fact talking in generalities to the entire group that day. Call it procrastination because I truly needed to be working on a paper for my class, but it felt so good to just let myself write something.

It was the submitting it to the publication that was the whim. Like fiction writing so often is for me, just the act of writing something cleansed a little piece of my soul that has been suffering amid all this pandemic and social unrest of the last few months.

Dandelion gone to seed blowing into the wind with sunlight behind it.
Photo by Nita from Pexels

Imagine my surprise when a few days later I learned that mine was one of the stories they had picked to feature the next month in the online magazine, Salt Flats. Here’s a link if you want to check it out on Medium: https://medium.com/salt-city-genre-writers/escape-5c97baae7bda


Finding a slice of me in the wilds of the web

Being a part of The Manuscript Dr has fulfilled me in ways I never expected. I get to exercise my brain doing things I am the best at as I build operational systems and grow our business. So when my business partner and founder asked if I wanted to help with building content for the company blog, I immediately said yes! I reviewed one of my favorite books, The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt, talking about one of the most impactful things my Creative Writing degree coursework at SNHU has taught me: theme. If you’re interested, check it out HERE.


Confessions of a Broken Artist

Time to come clean. To weigh in on where the hell I’ve been the last few months. To get really and truly real. So many times I’ve sat down and thought “I need to blog, it’s been forever”, yet everything feels trite or boring when I start to write a post.

On one hand, there are SO many things that have been happening… I started my senior year of college and I’m getting a minor now, too without adding any additional time to finish. Classes are getting more difficult and taxing, and I’m seriously burned out by all of it. Trudging along and barely mustering B-average work. But Cs get degrees so I’m still doing fine. My work as the Conference Committee Chair of the League of Utah Writers almost broke me between July and August preparing for our annual event, but it was an amazing conference and we are already planning for the next one. I’m also preparing for someone to take over because it’s too much time and effort to volunteer in the role forever. We are going through yet another reorganization at the corporate job – this makes two in under a year. Oh, and I was offered a position as an Operations Manager (and partner) in a new company. A role I could do in a handful of hours a week without having to give up my corporate job. Yes, I took it. So far I just had to give up staying in touch with people on social media to find the time.

But none of that really matters when talking about unapologetic confessions.

You see, on the writing front, I’ve had a hell of a year. I killed myself trying to finish drafting my last novel in order to pitch it to agents. Which I did. But it ended in rejection. I know I’m not alone in this outcome. Countless authors pitch novels that never get picked up or which take years and endless revisions until they are successful. But this was the first time I’d put myself out there with a novel. The first one I thought was good enough to sell. I’m not going to lie, it fucking hurt. Maybe even more so than I originally knew because the effects were felt months later when I couldn’t write a short story for my advanced creative writing class.

That’s when I got really worried. My creativity felt all dried up. Like I didn’t even know how to come up with a story anymore. Worse, the characters I always had whispering through my mind were silent. Dead. Maybe gone.

I had all these other things to fill my time and allow me to hide away from the pain of this rejection. Excuses I could make. Reasons I could use to explain away what was happening. That only worked for so long… I couldn’t hide from my self-awareness or my analytical nature.

I took stock. I made assessments. I started troubleshooting. Problem-solving.

In the last week of November, at the end of NaNoWriMo, I’d written a total of 252 words outside of academic assignments for the whole month. No revisions. Not even pretending to write. I’ve fallen so far from my creative writing that I struggle knowing where to begin to get it back. A few weeks ago I would have said I was completely broken.

But that isn’t true either. Not entirely.

What’s true is that I have broken my habit of daily writing, which I had fostered and committed to for several years thanks to the magic of NaNoWriMo. That does not mean I can’t get it back. But it does feel like I’m starting all over again from the beginning.

What’s also true is that I need to figure out what comes next for me. The novel I just finished drafting, while timely and full of potential, is also very political and similar to at least one that has already been published. I know because I read it. That doesn’t mean that I need to dwell on that project and obsess about it. What I can do is start another project or pick up one of the previous three others I’ve put down after initially drafting them. Maybe there’s still a story to be told hiding in the shell of the current project waiting to be found. Whatever the answer, start I must.

While I work through all the layers of how deeply the last few months have affected me, I am clear on one thing: I must be real and unapologetic with myself. It’s okay to be selfish – both with my time and the things I choose to fill it with. It’s okay to take time for my own self-care, otherwise, I can’t care for others. Above all else, I must stop hiding from myself and the fear of failure that has settled into me. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it is acting in spite of it.

Here’s to getting my mojo back.


A quick check-in with a bonus: new writing

I wrote a couple of vignettes at a workshop I taught last week. Mostly to prove that I was willing to do what I was making those in attendance do. The prompts were to describe a scene without telling the reader a specific detail about the character or the situation they were in. I wrote these longhand, which took me longer and filled an entire notebook page, and yet look so small here when I type them out.

 

The party poppers still haunted him where he’d retreated to the far corner of the house. Now they sounded like mortars across the city: far away enough not to hurt but still a danger to his brothers. New Year’s Eve and he had no excuse to leave. Instead he smiled and pretended and waited for it to be tomorrow so he could leave these civilians who knew nothing of what life was really about, with their champagne and glitter, ringing in another year.

  • Can you guess who the character is?

 

My fingers shook in rhythm with my racing heart. Is this what they meant when they said your life flashes  before your eyes? The sounds around me were missing, but somehow I wasn’t worried about it. The reflections on the sidewalk alternated red then blue while I sat, watching the people crowded frantically around Noah. All I could see of him was one perfect foot. Where was his shoe? He had been wearing shoes when we left the party. The beautiful, unmarred foot. It already haunted me.

  • Can you guess where the character is and what had just happened in this one?

 

I’m still buried with a swamp of school work and a more-than-normally oppressive day job with little time to work on the current revisions of my novel. Yes, I’m frustrated by those facts, but as one of my writing group members said to me this week, everything has a season. Right now I’m in the “finish your degree” season which is winding down even though it doesn’t feel like it is. Finding time and opportunities like these little snippets to keep writing makes me happy while I wait for the seasons to turn again.


Rejection roller coaster: the mother-daughter edition

Being an artist is hard. Banish the self-doubt and self-sabotage inherent in all of us and you still have subjective judgments that rule the arts. This past month felt like someone holding a giant magnifying glass above me, concentrating the rays of sunlight into a laser beam of backyard destruction on a pitiful and insignificant ant, me. Of course there are reasons for this that I could go into and bore you with the details of.

I could. But I won’t.

That kind of dwelling on the details doesn’t allow for the wide-angle lens of life I glimpsed because of them. Which is the point.

The basics are: I went to a writer’s conference that showed me exactly where I am within the professional realm of writing and publishing. It isn’t where I want to be. I learned a lot. I was mostly happy, but also sad at the end of the trip. Objectively, nothing earth-shattering was uncovered while there. I’m in school still, I have to split what free time I have with my writing, and because of that, my writing is progressing at a fucking snail’s pace. Nothing I can do with that but be patient and persevere, knowing all the time I devote to finishing my degree I will get to spend writing when it’s over. Think of the solid habits I’ll have, too!

Big Sister is a beautiful almost-adult now. She auditioned for a dance company that she wanted so badly. Surviving the first cut – further than she’d come last year – bittersweet when she got cut in the second round. Lots of tears and self-doubt at our place and this mom feeling helpless to take the pain and disappointment from her.

Here’s where that wide-angle lens comes in.

I know exactly how she feels. Putting yourself and your work out in the world. Judges (agents, editors, readers in my case) making assessments on what feels like your personal worth based on your artistic expression and execution. Feeling like you’re not good enough in the face of apparent failure. Wanting to quit.

I found myself telling her she should not quit dance unless she felt in her soul that she didn’t want to dance anymore. Because wanting to dance, and the joy it brings her, is the only thing that matters. Not whether or not she got cut from the company. Not that someone else subjectively didn’t think she fit. Her technique was judged and found wanting, but only in someone else’s opinion. She is still a beautiful dancer. Dance makes her happy. It’s all that matters.

As I talked to her, my own words echoed back at me about my writing. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t got anyone to represent me. Nor that I found holes in my plot the size of Texas. That my technique is different than others does not invalidate it. The ridiculous amount of time it’s taking me to finish this latest novel. In the end, those things are all subjective measures. What matters is the joy writing brings to me when I’m doing it.

That is enough.

It is all that matters.

In life, in love, in dance… in writing… the only thing that matters is the joy it brings you. If it doesn’t then, by all means, quit. But if quitting will kill the joy that set you on the path in the first place, ask yourself why you and that nugget of joy that sings to your soul is not enough to sustain you.

Consider that it IS enough. Everything else is subjective and doesn’t have to define you, or your joy. What you and your situation look like through the lens of society is not the truth for you. Persist. Find and then cling to the joy. Let it sustain you through the darkness and the doubt.

It will always be enough.


Putting The Work First – My 2017 Report

I’ve been a little radio silent this year. Maybe you noticed? Here’s the truth: being a working mom with a full time job and going to school full time took me to my limit. Not to mention all the things I didn’t say no to that I had to cram into the extra spaces.

My day job moved to new offices about this time last year and my commute is an hour each way. Each. Way. Some days it takes a toll, some days I rejoice in the extra time to multi-task homework. The work itself at my day job constantly evolves and now I’m on call again every other week. Facing a division-wide reorganization at the end of the year, I’m hopeful that things will settle down and I can go back to fitting all my work into a forty hour week instead of the fifty or more it takes now. We shall see.

In looking back on the course of this year, it was a lot of saying ‘No’ to others and saying ‘Yes’ to me. I only attended two author events this year – StokerCon in Long Beach as an attendee, and LTUE as a guest panelist. I’ve got a well-oiled machine in my Infinite Monkeys chapter and this year’s motto was if anyone suggested adding something new to what we do, they had to head it up. So far it has worked really well. We are kicking off an attempt to publish an anthology open only to our members and I have zero involvement in the day-to-day project. Fully delegated. It feels super refreshing. I assembled an amazing Conference Committee who successfully pulled off TWO conferences this year and I still have not qualified for another Presidential Service Award, which was my goal headed into this year. Okay, that isn’t completely truthful – I did qualify for the Bronze level and likely will have enough for the Silver level by the end of the year, but I definitely will not qualify for the Gold level like last year. Goal achieved!

School has been amazing – I’m a junior now and working through my degree program instead of all the general ed requirements I had to do the first year. The last few months of coursework forced me to write a query letter and synopsis of my latest novel. It was a fantastic experience to be forced to take these steps whether I was ready to do so or not. Coincidentally, it also meant I was ready when there were out of town agents at the League of Utah Writer’s Fall Conference last month to pitch to.

Here’s the biggest news of the year so far: I pitched my novel to those out there who could get it published. My first choice of literary agencies wants to see it. We even talked about book two, which I hadn’t even considered.

Now, I’m working on the finishing touches of my continuity edits so I can get it to my editor, polish it all up, and submit it to *hopefully* my future agent. Oh, and just in case that doesn’t pan out, there is another acquisitions editor (who’s also a fellow Utahn) whose publisher wants to see it as well.

Surreal. This is what being a working writer feels like.

This is what stepping away from everything and protecting my writing time to focus on achieving my own goals first feels like.

I can do better – at delegating and trusting others to do things as competently as I do. At relegating social media (all of it) until after I’m done writing every day. At drinking more coffee so I can sleep less and be more productive. But I still did better than I had ever dreamed when I started out this year, struggling through January.

I’m taking six days off from the day job for Thanksgiving. To finish mid-terms, to work through this round of edits for my novel, and to spend time with family. I’ll also be thinking about how to say yes to even less things next year so I can write faster.

Writing first – the motto for 2017 – has paid off handsomely so far. I can’t wait to see how I can improve on this approach and take whatever the next step in this journey will be.


Coming Up For Air, or Finding Balance in 2017 Update

You’ll remember that I headed into 2017 hoping for a better experience than what I had going on at the end of 2016 (read the original post HERE if you missed it…) and armed with a plan to make it happen. Either I did a really good job of implementing the plan or I’m getting really good at juggling all the things in my life now. (Jury is still out on that one…) Things do feel better and I’m seeing positive results in my stress levels. I’m here to share some insights if you want all my secrets. Why are you reading my blog if it isn’t to get my secrets, right? *wink*

My powers of saying NO and delegating everything I can are becoming well-honed skills. This is still not always easy for me. I always wish I was doing the things that I am missing out on when I know others are enjoying them without me, thanks to my raging case of “FOMO” (Fear Of Missing Out). But practice makes everything easier. When I didn’t die after not participating in every author event that was available to me the last six months, I realized I could survive. I also realized that when a person is found with the right skills to hand off something successfully, they are an invaluable find. I have so many people around me who are rocking things that I’ve given them, and making my life easier in the process. If you’re one of these – you know who you are – thank you!

My efforts to break the constant draw of being connected to social media is still a daily struggle. However, limiting the times and ways I get notified of things on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter has been amazing. We all know I’m addicted so it isn’t like I’m not going to check in on social media whenever I have down time (like the end of the day, whenever I’m on public transit, at lunch, etc.) so I’m not missing things. The difference now is that I’m not distracted by notifications that pop up and interrupt whatever else I’m focused on. Seriously, if you are getting these kinds of notifications outside of the social media site itself you may not even realize how disruptive they are until you turn them off.

The best part of all of these efforts is the amount of writing I’m doing again – even while maintaining a 3.9 GPA and consistently hitting the President’s List at SNHU. I’ve written two short stories that I’m extremely proud of, POETRY that I’ve never been inspired to write but now do, and I’m working on my novel consistently. It’s funny how everything I do looks the same to observers – me, sitting in front of a laptop in various places around the house. Is she doing homework? Working on League business? Messing around on social media? I didn’t realize this until I was sharing with my hubby how great it was to be almost to the 70K mark on the novel and getting toward the ending. He was surprised to hear that I was even writing. His assumption that I was always swamped with coursework (or distracted by Facebook) was eye-opening. Nope, I’m doing ALL the things now that I have arranged my life for better effectiveness.

None of these things are new insights, I was already seeing some success by the time I originally blogged about them. What is fabulous to know is that now they are habits rather than merely new and promising. Sustainable behaviors are always more effective for long-term results. What steps are you taking to increase your success?