I’ve been so busy I somehow forgot I’m a blogger. I may have forgotten I’m a writer for a little bit, too. Right now all I am is a mom and a runner… And I’m not even doing either of those very well.
Wow, doesn’t that sound like a pity party? If I were one of you, my faithful if anonymous followers, I might shake my head and mutter about the downer and stop reading. But, guess what – life is as full of downers as it is uppers. And I’m not talking about little pills either. So, instead of suffering alone, I’m sharing with the world – my small corner of it anyway – and hoping somehow it is the key to turning it all around and getting me out of the current slump.
It isn’t even a slump really. I’m just overwhelmed with my life. It happens. Occasionally.
Hubby isn’t happy with his job. I’m not happy with my job. Big Sister is, I’m hoping, a typical nine year old who would rather lolly-gag and watch TV than pick up after herself regardless of how often I yell at her and ground her and take away her phone. Little Sister is in the full blown “terrible two’s” and is constantly throwing tantrums and screaming when she doesn’t get her way. Hubby’s work schedule – at the job he hates – has begun interfering with everything from co-parenting to my running and we barely get to see each other. I have the equivalent of a part time job on top of my regular full-time day job in required after-hours support. And, I haven’t written a thing in weeks – unless you count a couple of book reviews. Oh, and I am so busy both at work and at home that it’s been days since I got to talk to my friend who abandoned me at work and who I miss desperately. You know, now that I think about it this can all be blamed on her – since she left there is no one around who lets me vent and keeps me sane. Great.
So, that’s my life in a nutshell.
Plus, I’m freaking out about Ragnar because I’ve been so crazy busy the last two weeks that I haven’t gotten to run regularly and now we only have about three weeks of training time left before the big show. Oh, and did I mention that we’ve had to replace five of the twelve team members in the last few weeks? Yeah, try finding runners insane enough to even consider doing this relay race who aren’t already on a team and who are willing to jump in with only a few weeks left to train. It is pretty difficult. Luckily I know a lot of people but we’ve pushed the limit on scraping the barrel so hopefully it is over.
Oh, and did I mention that I need to have my wisdom teeth removed? Yeah, I’m thirty nine and I still have my wisdom teeth – don’t judge. And the recovery time is going to either interfere with Ragnar OR trump our trip back to Glacier we had planned… Do you see why I’m a wreck these days?
I do have stolen moments here and there like glimmers of light to cling to in the darkness and keep me going. Book club last week was amazing and the brief brainstorming session with a fellow writer afterward may have finally gotten me past the little block I had going with moving forward on my novel. Although I haven’t had a chance to write, I’m constantly thinking about the characters and the story line and wondering where it is going to take me. Dance season is over so I’ll get a month off from the shuttling back and forth three nights a week and school is out next week so my mornings will get less intense.
So, if you find yourself wondering where I’ve been and why all I’ve been posting are a few book reviews, picture me screaming through life with a toddler on my leg and my hair on fire juggling more than my usual share. And with this picture in your mind, I hope you’ll forgive me…