Reinventing myself because life stole my mojo

I’m not entirely sure who swooped in and stole my mojo but I really wish they would return it.  I keep making plans to work out and get back on track with my training for Ragnar now that I can run again.  And day after day life gets in the way and I find myself drained and ready for bed without having lifted a single weight or run a single step. Each day ending with a vow to make it happen tomorrow.

I stepped back earlier this week and tried to take the reigns again by scheduling in my workouts physically on my calendar.  Two workouts with weights happen at 9:30 PM each week after the kids go to bed; running twice during the week at the end of the workday assuming I can actually leave my office on time and run before Hubby has to go to work; a trip to the gym every Friday night; and a long run every Sunday.  I felt so much more in control after I put my “me” time in place.  And then I promptly missed every single workout since then.  I was too exhausted both nights that I was supposed to lift weights in the basement after the kids went to bed and instead went to bed myself.  My run on the workdays both got cancelled due to issues that cropped up at work that had me there late with no time to run.  Long gone are the days where I could keep up with my workload AND spend an hour in the fitness center every afternoon.  I didn’t run last Sunday because my foot hurt after having run seven miles during the week and I was scared shitless I was going to reinjury myself and wouldn’t be able to train at all.

So yeah, I’m seriously a mess.  Plus I’m giving in to my sweet tooth and eating crap that isn’t good for me because its all a viscious cycle.  If I’m eating great and working out I feel amazing and then I don’t even want anything that isn’t good for me.  But now I am back to feeling crappy because I haven’t figured out a way to squeeze everything into every day again which means I turn to food for comfort more often than I should.  I need to pull my head out of my ass is what I need to do.

I ran this morning – the first in a week and a day later than scheduled – and it felt great.  I can see progress on regaining my stamina and endurance even though I’m nowhere near where I was prior to my injury.  Maybe that’s also because I am running hills in an effort not to die on Ragnar this year?  Yesterday I ate better and I feel like I might be taking the reins back.  I still don’t have all my mojo but maybe if I take it one day at a time it will magically reappear.

I added streaks of red to my hair hoping to fool life into believing I’m someone else and letting up for a bit.  We’ll see how much that works.  Meanwhile, I’ll take every day as it comes and strive for progress rather than perfection where it comes to eating and training.  That and hope my sister really will let me store her treadmill in my basement instead of hers where I could use it whenever I could squeeze in a few minutes of running.

About terraluft

Writer; wife, mother, survivor, and impulsive bitch rarely capable of saying no. Fueled by coffee, yoga and sarcasm. (She/Her) View all posts by terraluft

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