Go with the flow, bitch!

I am a control freak.  It’s no secret nor is it some earth-shattering revelation.  But I’m learning to recognize situations where I can’t control losing control.  Like this week, for example.  I’ve just started a protracted training schedule for a half marathon that I only have ten weeks to prepare for and can’t afford to slack on.  AT ALL.  I’ve finally found a cross-training cardio workout that I enjoy enough that I want to get out of bed for in the morning – on the weekend even.  And what happens?  I come down with a stomach bug. 

It started Monday afternoon and instead of getting to go to my Monday night gym class, I writhed in pain on the couch all night.  I suffered all day Tuesday.  Even more horrid because Tuesday was the Utah Pioneer Day holiday and I had the entire day off to fit my run into at leisure.  I was so sick that I laid around all morning so I could muster the strength to smiled through the pain long enough to hang out with the neighbors for a few hours.  No run for me that day.  I had a full day of meetings in the office on Wednesday and powered through them all, visually suffering enough that my co-workers told me repeatedly that I should go home.  Thank god for work from home Thursdays that I spent on the couch.   I’m almost feeling back to normal today with only a few minor abdominal pains remaining.  I woke up with high hopes that I could run.  Packed my gym back and dragged it with me to work this morning and everything.  But, alas, did not feel up for it still this afternoon. 

The control freak in me is seriously freaking out that I cannot afford to lose an entire week of training. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND – AN ENTIRE WEEK!  The zen girl who is starting to emerge at random times has her by the throat shouting “suck it up, bitch and go with the flow.  It is what it is!”  I like to call that zen girl, my inner runner.  The one who exists now only because I run.  What an oxymoron.  My inner runner telling my inner control freak to quick freaking out that I can’t run…  Wrap your brain around that one!

About terraluft

Writer; wife, mother, survivor, and impulsive bitch rarely capable of saying no. Fueled by coffee, yoga and sarcasm. (She/Her) View all posts by terraluft

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