Category Archives: Writing

October 21, 2013

T-Minus Ten Days

By terraluft

It is almost November. That busy month where most people are gearing up for mainstream things like Thanksgiving and Christmas shopping and crazy writers like me are attempting what initially seems like the impossible: to participate and hopefully win National Novel Writing Month on top of all the things everyone else is doing. If you’re new to the blog you may not understand the massive undertaking I challenge myself with every year for the past six. Writing fifty thousand words in the thirty days of November. Last year there were over three hundred thousand others globally who joined this challenge with me and I’ve heard this year is going to be even bigger.

I’ve been plotting and character developing since mid-September in preparation for writing the first draft of my next novel starting at midnight on Halloween. Have I got everything figured out yet? Nope. Am I worried? Nope. Am I secretly rejoicing that my health has improved so much that I feel almost one hundred percent like my old self so I can realistically imagine pulling late nights night after night and consuming massive amounts of coffee to keep me awake the next day so I have a chance in hell of winning this year? You bet your ass!

Have you thought of writing a novel but never did anything about actually doing it? NaNoWriMo is the coolest and best writing event to develop personal habits that easily translate to the rest of the year. No matter what the rest of the year looks like for me, I always know I’ll be a writer who writes every day during November. And usually that habit persists well into the rest of the year. I haven’t “won” every year but I write more every November than I would without this silly contest/challenge and that is all that really counts.

For more information and to join the party for free check out www.nanowrimo.org and register to join me! There is a real-life side to the online contest too if you want to meet other local writers at the kick-off parties or participate in write-ins in your area. My favorite part of registering is getting access to the word count statistics where I can obsessively and continuously update my word count and see the very real and uber-cool progress I’m making every day.

Leave a comment | posted in National Novel Writing Month, The Novel Project, Writing

September 29, 2013

Vegetarianism and immunosuppression – oh my!

By terraluft

Lots has happened and I’m kind of torn about how to share it with everyone. Thus the sporadic nature of my blogging lately. If you’re reading solely to follow my journey with kidney disease you might be disappointed. I had an epiphany last week. I’ve always been a believer in positive thinking and that whatever you focus on will happen. It occurred to me that in my focusing on having kidney disease that I was defining myself in the negative light of being sick. That is over. From now on I’ll be focusing on things that I have to be grateful for and things that make me lucky.

With that being said, there are lots of changes lately in my health so here’s a list of bullet point facts that are true:

  1. My proteinuria got worse over the last three months.
  2. I got a second opinion and I didn’t like much about what the other doctor said.
  3. I became a vegetarian a little over a month ago – doctor’s orders.
  4. I started immuno-suppresant drugs a couple of weeks ago.

Its definitely been a month of adjusting but I’m still positive and I still feel great on a day to day basis which makes me super fortunate. Plus, I didn’t die which completely defines how I view my life these days. You only live once and when you almost die you start to live much more for the moment and appreciate what you have rather than what you don’t or what you wish for.

Vegetarianism as been both harder and easier than I thought it would be. Easier because I don’t miss meat at all. I miss fish a tiny bit but I haven’t felt deprived or unhappy at all. Harder because it takes a whole lot more planning and strategy just to make regular meals happen. When you’ve always cooked, your habits of what you shop for and what you stock in the cupboard are pretty set and without much planning you know how to throw a meal together. When all your go-to habits include meat – and you have kids and a husband who don’t want to be vegetarian – it isn’t as easy. I found after the first week of cooking what I thought sounded good from recipes online and the kids wouldn’t eat any of it that if I include at least Big Sister in the process of recipe searching that there is a higher probability that she will eat it. And if Big Sister will eat it, Little Sister will likely follow. Another thing that is harder than I thought it would be is that if you are both vegetarian AND have to watch your sodium there are lots of recipes you can’t make. The best part of being vegetarian is how much better I feel. I’m still eating eggs and dairy and most of my protein has been from my favorite green veggies like broccoli and spinach, eggs, and my new favorite portabello mushrooms.

After six months of trying the least-invasive treatment options for my disease, it was clear it wasn’t being effective. It worked for a bit but then it didn’t. I’m super lucky in so many ways. First, that I am smart and live in the computer driven information super age. I Googled the SHIT out of treatment options knowing that a change was imminent after my second opinion. Second, that my doctor is willing to let me be a partner in my treatment decisions. The “recommended” treatment for what I have is a chemotherapy drug and a high dosage of steroids. I’m unsure why this is the recommended treatment when it comes with only a fifty percent success rate and gives you a fifty percent chance of getting bladder cancer or leukemia. Perhaps those odds are acceptable for “normal” kidney patients who are in their golden years but when I am only forty one, ‘later’ still has me in the prime of my life with my kids not even fully grown. No thanks. Together, we decided on a different plan that starts with an immunosuppressant drug with no cancer side-effects and no steroids. Plan B is in the wings as well and is a drug that works super well but is expensive so the insurance companies won’t approve it until you’ve tried something else. I’m not even going to start down that road since it’s an entirely different commentary on our healthcare system and will only piss me off if I get started.

So, there you have it. I’m also seeing positive changes in my body now that I’m doing yoga three to four times a week on a regular basis. The scale doesn’t show much difference by I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the proof is in the pants and mine are fitting better every week. I’ve got a very strong core – something I can honestly say I have NEVER had in my life before yoga. I’m loving the fall weather with cooler temperatures and am looking forward to starting my “Couch to 5K” training program so I can be a runner again. I miss feeling in cardiovascular shape and it is definitely time to get back to it. It’s been a full year since I’ve done any running and I know it will be like starting over rather than being a runner who took a few weeks off. I’ve lowered my expectations on how easy it is going to be. The best part is that I already know I’ve started from an even worse place than here with my fitness before and did a half marathon within six months. I’ve totally got this!

I’m also busy plotting my next novel. November approaches at breakneck speed after all.

In short, I didn’t die a year ago and now I’m busy living life to the fullest in the only way I know how – overachiever fashion where I do everything. Go big or go home, baby!

Leave a comment | posted in Back to Fit, Everyday Life, Healthy Lifestyle, Kidney Disease, Overachiever, Writing, Yoga

April 2, 2013

A new project for Camp NaNoWriMo

By terraluft

I’ve got a new project I’m working on. A new novel. And how lovely of the folks who run the NaNoWriMo website to offer the same online tracking and motivational tools and shenanigans of November in April to help me bang out the rough draft quickly this month. They call it Camp NaNoWriMo, I call it brilliant.

Wait, what? You want to know what happened with my first novel? I’m getting ahead of myself? Sorry… let me explain.

Last time I talked about my writing I was anxiously awaiting critique from my writer’s group on the first draft of my first novel and stressing that they weren’t going to like what I’d written. Well, turns out they all loved it and wanted to jump in and make it better and polished and pretty enough for submission and hopefully publication. And while I want that someday as well, I decided that wasn’t the novel to do it with for several reasons.

First, it’s my first novel. There’s a reason the majority of first novels never get published – they are learning curve victims left to die along the path to becoming a seasoned author. Of course there are famous (and not so famous) exceptions like Harry Potter (and Twilight). And I truly believe that if a new author wants to write and re-write a first novel until it is just as good as a second or a third, it is possible to learn enough on your first idea to make it happen. My good friend has done that and is well on her way to publication. I also know she has most definitely written that book more than once.

Second, I’m lazy and I want the learning return with smaller investment up front. My first book (working title “Natural Balance”) is a fantasy. And after all the time it took me to finish the first draft I still don’t have a fully fleshed out world built and there are still holes in my magic system. My goal is to someday be published which means I need to learn how to write a first draft and then how to edit that rough draft into something people want to read. So, I’ve figured out my process of completing a rough draft. But do I really want to learn how to edit using an idea that I’d honestly bitten off more than I could chew? Not so much.

Third, I’ve learned that I am not going to write fantasy for a living. While I love reading it, it just isn’t the genre niche that I’m going to be great at writing in. Another argument for not editing this one in hopes of publication. Say I worked my ass off for the next months or years and did sell this book. Then I’d (hopefully) have fans who’d want to keep reading my work because they loved my fantasy novel. And I’d have no other fantasy to give them? It was my baby, my first real idea for a book that panned out into a plot but the fact that all the subsequent ideas I’ve had are NOT fantasy is something I need to fully acknowledge. Perhaps someday I can pull my baby out of a drawer an abandoned flash drive and publish it under my well established name and hope some of the same people like this completely different piece of work. But I’ll never build a career out of one fantasy novel.

So, I’m going to practice my new-found skills of completing a rough draft by starting and finishing another idea. One that doesn’t require me to invent an entirely different world with culture and religion and magic different than ours. This new idea is mainstream fiction set in the world I live in and know everything about. All I have to do is develop some great characters who have tragic and exciting events happen to them that keep the pages turning. That’s the novel I’ll learn how to edit with. 

And where I go from there, I don’t even know yet. There’s a chance there’s still pieces of this writing thing I still don’t even know I need to learn before I’m successful. We shall see! In the meantime, my goal is 30,000 words and a fully fleshed out rough draft/outline by the end of April. Wish me luck!

Leave a comment | posted in Camp NaNoWriMo, Editing, The Novel Project, Writing

February 26, 2013

The stress factor of critique

By terraluft

I sent my entire rough draft off to my writer’s group to read and critique late last night. I am so stressed that even in my sleep deprived state of meeting my submission deadline – self imposed so there is enough time for them to read the whole thing before we meet to discuss it – I still couldn’t sleep. What if no one likes it? What if they think it is total crap? What if their critique makes me cry? These are the thoughts going through my head.

The reality is, this is a rough draft in every sense of the word. There is at best cardboard cutouts for characters because I haven’t added all the layers and depth that need to be there. Description is very lacking in lots of places. But that’s because at this stage of the project, all I’ve done is gotten the story down from start to finish. Now the daunting process of editing for content and pacing and characterization and all the other things that I don’t have at this point will begin.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Writing is hard work! Wish me luck that my fellow writers like it enough to invest their time and effort into helping with that editing and revision process so that others may someday read it, too.

Leave a comment | posted in Editing, The Novel Project, Writing

February 18, 2013

I wrote a book… now what?

By terraluft

I wrote a novel. Holy shit! I. WROTE. A NOVEL. Or more accurately, the first draft is finished!!

And it only took me four and a half years…

I started ‘writing a novel’ back in 2008 when I first participated in NaNoWriMo.And while technically I’ve been working on the same basic idea I had for that first book, nothing is the same in the finished draft as it was when I started.The character names are different, the character who’s point of view the story is written from has changed, even the scope and focus of the story shifted.Then there are my writing skills themselves. I trashed so much writing in the past four years to start all over when I learned another skill in the writing process and realized everything I’d written was now shit.

Let me tell all the aspiring writers out there some basic truths that I discovered along the way to my first completed rough draft of a novel-length work.

Just because you read a lot doesn’t mean you’ll have an inherent talent for writing. This was a hard one for me. I thought I could just sit down and write a novel. I’ve only thought about being a writer since I was in junior high. Sure it was going to be a lot of work and sure it was going to take some time. But surely I had what it took because I’ve been reading novels since I was in elementary school. Then I found all these things that I didn’t know – point of view, tense, showing vs. telling, plot structure, character development, voice, narrative voice… The list goes on and on. And all these things have rules that work and things that you can’t do and … and … and, yeah. It took me several of those first years stumbling around all that unknown territory realizing there was far more in the “things I don’t know I don’t know” column than there was in the “things I know” one. I still remember one of my very first chapters I ever wrote where the point of view shifted between two different characters as quickly as the dialogue they exchanged. There was a whole lot to learn that I understood subconsciously as a reader but that I had no real idea how to do as a writer.

Writing is hard work. I have a full time job, I’m a wife and I’m a mom to growing girls – one with a schedule all her own to keep up with. Part of me – not the overachiever part of course – wonders if it is even possible to write for a living on top of all that I’m already doing. This past year I’ve watched my friend and writing group partner sign with a publisher and embark on what comes next in the road to publishing. She doesn’t work outside the house and she thought some days it was more than a full time job commitment to keep up with the editing she had to do. Deadlines up until now have been of my own doing and could come and go with zero consequences if I happened to miss one. What happens if I do publish a book and I don’t have the luxury of writing at my own pace. If it has demands like a job will I still love it? And would my psyche rebel if someone told me I had to do something I didn’t want to do – because that is never a good thing for me. Plus, writing is not the quick way to fame and fortune – you have to sell many many many books in order to make enough to quit your day job. Frightening!

Writing is humbling work. You put immense effort and emotion into creating characters and worlds and this story and you shed blood, sweat and tears to make it the best you can. Then people want to read it. And you want people to read it and tell you how much they love it. And sometimes they do say that. But most often you hear more about the things that don’t work or that could be improved. And even when you trust and love these critique partners that you’ve asked to tell you these things it can hurt to hear them. If you can get past the initial sting and instinct to defend your work to the death, you can learn from what others see. But getting past those things can be very, very difficult. In the four plus years I’ve been writing *this* novel I think I’ve let my writer’s group see a total of six measly chapters and not even that much of this current draft. I’m both sorry for that and not. They are my biggest supporters and I owe it to them but somewhere deep inside where I don’t go very often, I am super scared no one will like what I wrote.

Writing a book isn’t the same as publishing a book. The first thing people want to know when they hear I’ve written a novel (my daughter included) is ‘when can I buy it and read it?’. Most published authors write countless novels before they are ever picked up by a publisher. Brandon Sanderson – who is such an amazing writer that Robert Jordan’s widow picked him to finish the Wheel of Time series – wrote close to ten novels before he ever got published. (I only know this because my other friend and writing partner is his biggest fan so I might have the facts wrong…) Regardless, there are probably hundreds of unpublished writers for every one that gets a break and gets to publish a book. Then there are even fewer published authors who sell a ton of books and whose names are nationally recognized. Those are staggering odds and I know there is still no guarantee on where I go from here.

Writing a first draft isn’t the end, it’s only the beginning. I didn’t even take two nights off from writing to celebrate before I was busy with revising. Key parts of the story morphed in the middle to make the ending work which then made the beginning inconsistent with the ending. And since I have a submission deadline for my writing group to read and critique the entire thing, I have to fix it right away. After they get a crack at it, there will be edits and revisions based on what they give me feedback on. At some point I need an editor to go over it and figure out all the things none of us have seen. Then beta readers for a look with fresh eyes, more revisions. And THEN I can hopefully find an agent who likes it enough and thinks he/she could sell it through the querying process which I haven’t even wanted to look at details of because it is like having a full time job, plus a writing job PLUS a querying job until you find an agent. In the meantime, I will move on to the next idea and write another first draft and start the complete process over from the beginning. I’ve heard of published authors who are editing two books at the same time they are writing a third. Another argument in the ‘writing is hard work’ area.

While I know this is one of the more important steps – finishing a story all the way to the end – I know I am still on a journey of discovery. I’m having a blast and learning new things all the time. For today, I’m trying not to be overwhelmed by everything there is still left to do and instead taking this time to revel in the fact that I have done what I set about to do all those years ago. Or the first step of it anyway.

2 Comments | posted in Events, The Novel Project, Writing

December 12, 2012

Everything changes

By terraluft

One of my favorite sayings is “Change is the only constant in the Universe”.  And recently it’s been particularly true for my life.  Fundamental things I thought would never – I mean NEVER – change, are changing.

Monday morning I got up at five o’clock.  That’s a time people usually have to remind me happens more than once in a day because I’m guaranteed to be sleeping through the AM version.  Why did I ON PURPOSE drag myself out of bed that early?  On a Monday?  For yoga.  YOGA!  And guess what… I found out how much I like to work out in the morning.  I felt so amazing all day.  Yes, part of that was because I did yoga which always leaves me feeling amazing.  But there was more.  I had no anxiety about when I was going to fit exercise into my crazy day.  No lamenting about the day having slipped by, taking my best laid plans with it, and falling into bed without having worked out.  Nope.  Instead, I’d already done it before I would normally have been out of bed.  Brilliant! And the best part: I had so much energy all day that I didn’t even feel sleep deprived.  Monday mornings now mean yoga at six o’clock AM.

Today I realized that subconsciously I’ve been changing my night owl activities all week.  I’m slowly training myself to go to bed a tad bit earlier so I can eventually wake up early and run before work.  Because, let’s face it, my days of working out during work have been gone for at least eight months with no promise of returning.  And that half marathon is just getting closer by the day…

Then there’s my writing…  No, no, I’m still doing it.  BUT, I think I’ve been writing in the completely wrong genre.  My first novel, poised for completion of the first draft after five long, grueling, frustrating, learning years is an urban fantasy.  Its the genre I have typically read the most so it must be the one I will write in, too.  Right?  Except that both of those stories I’ve got brewing in my head are NOT urban fantasy.  They are mainstream fiction, character-driven stories.  And I’m so much more excited about them!  So much so that I haven’t forced myself to write the conclusion of the first one yet because every time I sit down to do it, I find myself thinking more about the next ones and the writing is crap.  I refuse to abandon my first baby until I’ve written “The End” and have at least the rough story down on paper.  THEN I can put it away in a drawer to pull out and re-work someday when I’ve got several more under my belt and could truly make an urban fantasy work.

On the home front, Hubby found out he has off-the-chart cholesterol so the entire family is now eating healthier.  My carnivorous husband hasn’t eaten a cheeseburger in almost three weeks.  Even Big Sister has embraced wheat bread, although I’m certain her BFF who always thanks me prolifically for having white bread when she eats over will be sad.  The best part:  I’m no longer the odd one out when fixing meals because now I just fix what I’m eating for everyone.

So while I still can’t completely explain it, man am I loving this cycle of change…

Leave a comment | posted in Everyday Life, Healthy Lifestyle, The Novel Project, Writing

December 5, 2012

The NaNo that wasn’t

By terraluft

It’s happened before… getting to the end of November and not winning NaNoWriMo. But this time was different. I had prepared for this one far more than any before. I had a fully-plotted story – albeit rough and very high level – with characters and motivations and all the things that I didn’t have the times before when I didn’t win.  Yet I still stalled at just over twelve thousand words.

Yes, I know… twelve thousand words is more than some people write in an entire month – myself included some months.  But my goal was fifty thousand and it was attainable.  I was even ahead of the word count after the first weekend.

So what happened?

Well, there was that pesky pulmonary embolism I was diagnosed with on November 1st.  But in reality I could have labeled that any of a number of things.  And all those things can be lumped together and called “life”.  The lesson I’m taking away from this month of best laid plans, derailed by no control of my own, is that life happens.  You can either let it get you down or you can look at the bright side and take away whatever good there is to take from the situation.  My health had to come first this year; and while I don’t have a purple winners bar at the end of the month, I still worked every time I had the energy to do so.

One of the biggest unspoken fears I’ve been grappling with as I sprint *cough* crawl to the finish line of the first draft of my first novel is WHAT’S NEXT?  What if I can’t come up with another good idea.  What if I spent five years figuring out how to write a novel, finally finish one and then that’s it.  I’ll never have another idea.

I didn’t need to worry, though.  While I didn’t have the energy or the time to write amid all the craziness of my life during November, I did have ideas brewing.  And now I’m pushing myself to finish this monumental, FIRST novel so I can get to the TWO other stories I’ve got to write now.  Hello, I’m Terra and I’m a writer regardless of whether I won or lost this year’s NaNoWriMo.

Leave a comment | posted in Everyday Life, National Novel Writing Month, Writing

October 9, 2012

What is it about November?

By terraluft

Why is it that when the air turns crisp and the nights get longer I suddenly find new energy for writing?  Its like just the thought of November and it’s designation as National Novel Writing Month looming in the coming weeks magically motivates me.

I’ve been in the “percolating” stage for months on my novel.  Which is writer speak for I’m-not-actually-doing-any-writing-but-I’m-thinking-alot-about-writing.  I used to fight this time when it would hit me but I’ve learned that if I wait it out and allow the percolation I am surprised at what my subconscious spews out when it’s over.  This time was no exception.

Remember that the last writing I did was on my camping trip when I got reacquainted with where I’d left the story and all the characters and then banged out a new chapter.  Fast forward to yesterday when I sat down and without much thought produced a pretty killer chapter to fill a hole in the middle that until then had a one sentence of “this should happen here” as a placeholder.  Once that hole was filled in, the flood gates opened wide.

Tonight I spent my allotted writing time NOT on Facebook (miracle) and read the entire manuscript putting one sentence synopsis with each chapter heading.  (I just upgraded to Word 2010 and I’m really digging the default navigation bar on the left that shows you the headings in list form.)  Now I can see the flow of what every chapter accomplishes – as well as the few remaining holes that have yet to be written.  HOLY. SHIT.  I’ve only got 4 chapters to write and I’m done with my first draft!!

Surely I can write 4 chapters in the next three weeks.  Because then it will be November and I can start on the other thing the most recent percolating has conjured: a new story idea.  Yes, you read this post correctly.  I procrastinated percolated finishing the rough draft of my first novel so long that now I only have three weeks to finish it AND plan a new story so I can do National Novel Writing Month again this year.  Talk about working better under pressure and setting high expectations of yourself, eh?

Here’s to burning the midnight oil and drinking more coffee than I have all year so I can basically write at breakneck speed for TWO months instead of one.  And may I live to tell about it when it’s all over.

1 Comment | posted in National Novel Writing Month, The Novel Project, Writing

September 2, 2012

It’s like riding a bike – only you need to practice

By terraluft

I finished my second race of the year yesterday.  I have a great friend who is a brand new runner and needed a 5K for her first race this weekend to coincide with her chosen training plan.  The only race she could find was a half marathon relay.  So she recruited her daughter and I to run the other two legs leaving her with the final 5K leg into the finish.  It worked out perfectly for me.  We called the team “Two Old Ladies and a Ringer”.  Her daughter – being the ringer at 21 and a serious athlete – ran the first 4 miles all up a canyon.  I ran the next 6 miles down the other side of the canyon.  It was a great run even though I hadn’t trained hard.  Sometimes just getting out there is all that matters.  It was all downhill and a distance I know I am capable of running so I wasn’t stressed that the two weeks before had been a whirlwind and I hadn’t been able to stick completely to my weekly workout schedule.

I was all alone with my thoughts and the tunes on my iPhone, surrounded by the changing leaves of fall in northern Utah and IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.  Did I wish I had more time to devote to running so I could have gone faster? Yes.  Did I revel in the fact that I was still capable of ‘riding’ this particular bike because I had been doing what I can whenever I can to keep in shape?  Yes.  Did I find an analogy to make in order to compare this to my writing?  Of course!

Hubby and I took our girls camping a couple of weeks ago and I persuaded him to trek into the woods alone with the kids and the dog so I could have at least an hour of uninterrupted writing time. He fell for it – further proof that he loves me – and I sat down and dusted off my manuscript that I still haven’t finished from NaNoWriMo last year.  I read the last chapter so I could remember exactly where I’d left my characters and started writing.  Amazingly enough, I was still writing when the hikers returned two hours later.  I’d taken myself from the end of the middle to the climax of the ending.  And there are only a couple of ‘holes’ in the middle where its still a little muddy with placeholder statements of “this is what happens here” left to fill in.  Perhaps I’ll get this draft complete and pick up the editing process where I got mired down before November yet! 

The current lesson here: writing is an ongoing process of getting on the bike but you have to keep getting on it to get any better at it.  It’s not a new lesson, just a different way of looking at it for me.  I’ve also learned that in my own writing process I have to finish getting the story down before I can start editing.  And, much like my exercise plan, I have to squeeze writing into my insanely busy life wherever I can in order to keep myself progressing forward.  Someday when both of my kids are in school (and perhaps Big Sister is driving herself to dance) I’ll still be writing and be better at it than I am now.  And I’ll look back on this part and know how much it was all worth it to stick with it.

Leave a comment | posted in Healthy Lifestyle, Running, The Novel Project, Writing

May 6, 2012

You’re doing it wrong

By terraluft

I took another step on my journey of figuring out how to write a novel this week.  In an attempt to pull myself up by my bootstraps and self-motivate some action in the writing department since writer’s group looms over my head, I reached out to my editor for some advice. 

I know what you’re thinking: Wait, she has an editor?  But she isn’t even finished with her first draft!  This is my friend who I found out recently is also an editor.  He will be tasked with editing my work once I get it finished.  And since I think it is super cool to refer to the fact that I have an editor, I’ll now be doing so every chance I get.

Remember I said I was currently discovering my own editing method?  I told him what I had been doing and how unmotivated I’d become and asked for some advice on the whole process.  Turns out, I was doing it all wrong.  In my haste to have something for my writer’s group to see, I was doing the editing completely out of order.  I was editing on the micro level instead of the macro level.  I haven’t even worked out the big picture and filled in all the gaps yet.  I haven’t figured out what the outline is to make sure I flow from scene to sequel and back to scene yet.  All this has to happen before we go through chapter by chapter which is what I’d been doing with my alpha-readers.

AH-HA!  No wonder I wasn’t feeling the flow!  It was like recapping a race I hadn’t even trained for yet.

I know my writer’s group is going to be sad that they won’t get to see what I’m up to for a while again, but I’m back to the writing desk.  This time with some direction on how to get from here to the end.  And with my new knowledge I’m excited to be here again which is the whole point.

This also reminded me of something else a lot of people have said…  Writing is damn hard work.

Leave a comment | posted in Editing, The Novel Project, Writing

May 1, 2012

I think I can…

By terraluft

I’ve been in a bit of a funk the past few weeks.  Life interfering with my running has me doubting whether I can even be ready for Ragnar this year.  Being crazy busy with Big Sister’s dance competition season leaves me no time for much of anything past my day job, cooking dinner and trying to stay ahead of Little Sister’s toy bombs before bed.  I’ve had zero energy for staying up late which means I haven’t written in weeks.  Because I haven’t written in weeks I feel like I’ve lost the spark of creativity and the roll I was on a couple of months ago; and the overwhelming thought of what it will take to re-immerse myself has me dragging my feet to start again.

I certainly hope this shit is somehow normal because I rarely find myself in this land called self-doubt. But right now the world is pressing on me with stress and insanity and I have yet to rally myself completely out of it.

Maybe I’m just sad because we are losing Little Sister’s amazing nanny at the end of this week as she embarks on new adventures with her husband – on the other side of the country.  She’s been with us since Little Sister was five months old – two solid years – and has become one of my closest friends and confidants.  Whenever I think of life without her I get all weepy and sad.  I don’t even want to think about the reality of what next week will look like where I don’t see her every morning.  And work from home days without long lunch-time conversations are really going to suck…

But, like the little engine that could from that childhood book I remember having to read to my youngest brother over and over again… I think I can.  I think I can.  I think I can.  I keep telling myself that – even if it is something I actually believe one minute and the next something I’m merely willing to be true.

It’s amazing what a positive attitude can do to turn things around.  Even if it isn’t in profound ways.  After taking a week off of running to address some knee pain issues – caused by lack of cross training to strengthen my quads – I went for what my training program called for yesterday: an EIGHTY MINUTE run.  Twice as long as I’ve done since my injury.  I didn’t think I had it in me but guess what, I did!  The first mile was all uphill and I powered through it.  The middle was fraught with headwind that sucked the speed out of me.  But when it was all said and done I busted out FIVE miles and did the entire run.  Boo-ya!  Just because I’m using a different training program from the last two Ragnars doesn’t mean it isn’t effective.  I just have to keep believing I can stick with it and be ready in two months.

Luckily I have my writer’s group looming toward the end of the month spurring me on to get writing – which I haven’t done since the last meeting.  Instead of wallowing in all that I could have been doing which is in the past and cannot be controlled or changed, I am choosing instead to focus on what I can control: now, the present.  As always, I get my creative juices flowing and build momentum by crafting blog posts.  Step one, check! since here I am!

A conversation I had with an old friend a couple of days ago reminded me that even if I don’t make cookies from scratch, even buying the package you add butter and an egg to and making a dozen cookies ‘hot from the oven’ is enough for my kids and won’t overstress me.  All I remember from making cookies from my own childhood is how messy the kitchen was and that I always got stuck doing the dishes afterward.  This way, my kids only get the joy of warm cookies without all the extra fuss and I’ll still be a great Mom in their memories.

Maybe I should write what I know – who’s interested in a story of an overachiever fighting to be super woman and perfect in every aspect of her life?  Because I could totally write that shit with my eyes closed and two hands tied behind my back!  Too bad inner conflict isn’t enough to build a solid plot.  Guess I’ll stick with living that story and finishing the one I’m writing instead!

Here’s to getting and maintaining momentum – may we all be successful at it at least today.

Leave a comment | posted in Everyday Life, Running, Writing

April 15, 2012

Finding your own method

By terraluft

I’ve been at this novel writing endeavor for many years – more years than I’d like to admit.  The lions part of the journey for me was learning the craft.  Like so many others have said before me, the only way to get better at writing is to write.  Yes, you can go to conventions and conferences and listen to others talk about how they do it – did that.  You can read books on the craft written by others who are successfully doing it – did that.  You can form and join writing groups who encourage and critique – did that.  But bottom line is that what works for others doesn’t always work for you.  My novel is the most complete and mature to date (this is the third time I’ve started again to write the same story among writing other things) because I think I’ve found what works for me.  Of course time will tell if I’ve really got the formula completely dialed in but so far here’s what I’m doing.

  1. Outline.  Oh boy did I spend too long thinking I didn’t need any version of this before I wrote.  I have several projects that ended in the middle of nowhere with characters who I didn’t know anything about doing crazy things I couldn’t get them out of and which had nothing to do with the story I wanted to create.  This time I put together a rough outline to get me from beginning to middle to end with enough vagueness to allow my romantic notions of discovery writing to still exist between the sign posts.
  2. Character studies.  It helped so much that I spent an entire month of preparation writing about what makes my characters tick.  What their motivations are.  What their character flaws are.  What their goals are.  Then when I put them in a scene, I know enough about them to write their reactions and interactions with each other consistent with what I know about them.  This also helps move the story along between the outline sign posts.
  3. Write like mad until the very end of the draft.  I almost got the entire story down during NaNoWriMo in November.  My motto was ‘write now, ask questions later’.  Later comes in the editing process where I fix all the stuff that doesn’t work in the first draft and finish up the ending that’s already been worked out in my head.
  4. Editing with my writing group.  Every two months I get feedback on two or three chapters from my most trusted alpha readers as I start to polish re-write the first draft.  The only think you do more of than writing in this process is re-writing.  I’m learning that lesson currently.  I take comfort in knowing that no one gets it right the first time and that the first draft is supposed to suck.

I’ve learned another thing during the current editing process.  I’m resisting making many huge changes as I get through the first round of editing.  Sure, there are a couple of chapters that I know need to be completely rewritten because the very beginning had my main character acting kind of out of character since she wasn’t as well developed in my mind at that point.  And there are a couple of plot threads that started out pointing in one direction that I morphed to another that need to be fixed in the beginning for consistency.  But other than that, the feedback I’m getting from my alpha readers are going in a “to-do” list that will wait for me to get through my first edit all the way to the end.  That way, my story is the most complete version of my story it can be before major revising prompted from outside editing influences will be entertained.  Why does this work better for me?  I don’t know, it just does.  And that, my friends, is exactly the point.

Leave a comment | posted in The Novel Project, Writing

March 26, 2012

Revision – embarking on the scary journey

By terraluft

The past couple of weeks I’ve had to suck it up and dive into the part of writing I’ve been dreading since I started writing – and rewriting – each draft I’ve started of this crazy novel that I swear someday will be finished: revision.  I’ve never voiced that I’m scared of the whole undertaking until now but I am.  I even procrastinated an entire month of writing time between critique sessions because I didn’t know where to start or how to go about it.

There.  I said it.

I started this current draft with a fairly basic outline and well-thought out characters which was new for me having been a purely discovery writer on all the earlier drafts.  Even with an outline, I was still doing a fair bit of discovery writing between the sign posts.  I already knew I needed to revise parts of the beginning to match where the ending had morphed to during writing so it should have come as no surprise.  But I still had to slap myself and put on my big-girl panties just to dive in.

What I found after three excruciatingly hard weeks of writing sessions with little to no changes in overall word count is this:  Just like everything else it seems when it comes to writing, you just have to do it and it gets easier the more you do it.  I had to get over my OCD of a perfectly formatted word document and start hacking things up and making side notes in the margins and deleting them when they were checked off.  This meant reading and rereading to make sure there was continuity between the old and the new – constantly tweaking a word here and a sentence there. 

(Does it surprise you that I found a way to have a checklist even in this area of my life?  I guess it shouldn’t, right?)

After three weeks of doing nothing but rewriting, I can report that chapters one through three have gone through the first revision gauntlet and I have polished chapters four and five to submit for critique at tomorrow’s writer’s group.  It is amazing to have blown past this obstacle and know it has no power over me.  No longer will I cower on the sidelines worried that I don’t know how to revise.  I know I can and do it I shall.  Which is good because do it I must if I plan on finishing this thing.

The beauty of having a well established writer’s group is that they keep you honest – and writing.  Without knowing it, that’s exactly what mine did for me this month.  Without these three amazing women, I would not be where I am today.  Period.

Leave a comment | posted in The Novel Project, Writing