Okay, I didn’t even make it two days without finding an Internet connection to check emails…. THANK YOU ACE!!! I had nightmares last night about the (as the hubby puts it) corporate sabotage I did by leaving my former co-worker in charge upon my departure. And I now know that an upgrade to the home PC is a must after having spent 20 minutes online with the neighbor’s sweet system. Tomorrow I’ll find out just what I’m getting into at the new job and can’t wait for the adventure to begin. One thing is certain, I must find a different phone or get a Blackberry of my own. Texting without a full qwerty keyboard just simply blows!
Author Archives: terraluft
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End Days… going Incommunicado
Well, I’ve done it… The email is all cleaned out, all the personal effects are either already carted home or are bound for the “5-minute box” on the way out the door tomorrow, and I’ve checked off pretty much all the things that I wanted to do on my list titled Departure Tasks with time tomorrow to take care of what’s left. I am even resigned to the fact that I will not have a Blackberry for the time being… although I found one on eBay that I do believe is going to be MINE. I am both excited for what’s ahead and very sad to leave. In the end, though, I believe that even if I had the elusive crystal ball it would simply confirm that I am making the right career choice for me long-term.
With that said, this will be my last post for a while – probably a week at least – because things in life don’t always turn out as we like them to and not only will I not have the Internet on my hip in the form of my little black beauty labeled Blackberry, we will not even have Internet access at the house. Long story short, our ISP dropped us from a local tower when they ran into problems with the home it was on a couple of months back and because I have a wireless card in my laptop provided for work access (a perk of being on call 24x7x365) we just didn’t rush to replace it and it got buried in all the rest of the stuff I’ve been up to. I called yesterday to order an install with the company we decided would give us comparable service at a reasonable rate and then listened in HORROR to the sales girl tell me that the first available install date is more than a week away. We are on the waiting list if anything comes open before then and I am sure hoping that happens! I have to turn in my work laptop and all accessories tomorrow before I leave and I won’t even be in my new office to get my new laptop until Tuesday. When I do, it does not come with a nifty little air card to access Internet anywhere so even with a laptop I won’t have Internet access on it. Talk about going cold turkey! See you on the other side of a week of no-Internet-hell and wish me luck, I’m definitely going to need it! Maybe it will give me an excuse to work on my novel outline since I sure don’t need the Internet to be creative…right?!?
On a light note, I heard that there’s a pot at the new place and that the most anyone has given me is 6 days before my head explodes from information overload. So, I have THAT to look forward to! 🙂
Lunchtime with the Bitches
This was THE funniest moment of the week – hands down. My friend, who I won’t name names but rhymes with Becky and might be short for Rebecca, and I were at lunch today in a semi-crowded restaurant downtown. While we sat there trying – mostly in vain – to enjoy our lunchtime conversation, someones phone kept ringing. At first it was merely an annoyance. But as the lunch progressed it became incessant. Think Blackberry on steroids; one little chime, like it was notifying of a new email or a text message or something equally annoying. Neither Becky or I were subtle in our annoyance and are both very vocal when the need arises or when we think the need should arise. So, we started making comments directed flippantly to the table nearest us of construction-worker types who all had phones and who all were playing with them. Never mind that the entire table was over 40, they needed to answer their damn phone or shut it the HELL up! Now mind you, these comments were delivered very passive-aggressively and not actually directed toward these men but we sure had a great time showing our truly bitchy colors. About 25 minutes later having finished lunch and gotten into the car to head back to the office when what do we hear?!? YOU GUESSED IT – the same little ring we had been bitching about! Ding… Hey Becky – IS THAT YOUR PHONE?!? It was in her pocket the whole time and she was oblivious that it was hers. We almost crashed into the two cars that had already been involved in a fender bender at the intersection we were laughing so hard! Even Becky, my bitchiest friend besides my darling sister said that she felt bad and should probably go back and apologize for being so obnoxious. Of course we didn’t but it was the thought that counts. HEY BECKY… IS THAT YOUR PHONE!?!? It still brings a chuckle…
Someone Not Really Her Mother
It seems like ages since my last book review but it hasn’t even been a month. This one I just finished was a purely recreational read – meaning not assigned as a book club book. One of my fellow book clubbers recommended and loaned it to me and what an incredible little book by Harriett Scott Chessman. It is a novel of a woman with Alzheimer’s and her family. It kind of drove me crazy how all the details of the main character’s life are all jumbled and seem to be hiding just out of reach or just beyond the next corner but it is the story told mostly from her point of view that gives the novel such great depth and uniqueness. And I was SO mad about the ending…. until I’d had a day to think about it. It ended exactly the only way it could and in hindsight I love even how it ends. The characters are beautifully depicted through the shadows of the woman with Alzheimer’s and what a heart-wrenching portrayal of a story that is lived in reality by thousands of people every single day. I highly recommend this book. It is a short little book but at times not such an easy read; but what a great glimpse into life with such a horrible disease.
4179
4179…. That’s the number of emails in my InBox at work THAT I NOW HAVE TO CLEAN UP BEFORE MY DEPARTURE!! (What the hell was I thinking letting things get so out of hand?) Granted, the majority of these items at one point were important and related to some project or another but MY GOD at least they could have been organized! It appears – officially – that my powers of organization were abandoned about 2 years ago at least in the realm of email. I had an epiphany this afternoon… ain’t nuthin’ in there that’s gonna matter and they are just going to junk the whole email account when I’m gone anyway so just pick out the most recent stuff that needs to be passed on and trash the rest. Kind of liberating, although the pack-rat in me will be screaming at the top of her lungs when the trashing commences in earnest. I blame my Mom… she’s certainly the one who passed on that particular gene. Repeat after me… I will not keep email (or consider it reference material that I could ever possibly find again!) Folks, learn from my mistakes and de-junk your inbox. The life and sanity you save may be your own.
Weaning
I have attempted to get a grip on reality as it relates to me and my not having a Blackberry soon…. I didn’t wear the thing on my hip for almost two entire days this past weekend and didn’t die. Baby steps!
The Mechanics of Writing
More signs from the Universe helping me along the way toward novel writing month as I have declared November to be… Last night I was driving home and listening to NPR at a time that I don’t normally tune in. It was a lecture by an author, Ann Patchett, being broadcast and immediately I was intrigued because it was all about the writing process. Coincidence? Probably not. One of the big points she made is that there are three things that are required to write a novel – 1) Commitment; 2) Mechanics (or Tools); and 3) Imagination. And, she said that it was really IN THAT ORDER that you needed these elements to be successful.
So, I began taking stock. I have the commitment – I will write every day in November and end the month with a completed novel of at least 50,000 words. Those are my specific deliverables that make the process real. The Mechanics (or Tools… I can’t remember the exact word she was using but you’ll get the idea) were the things that she said are essential to any creativity. Things like plot, character development, outlines, etc. Without the mechanics of writing it just doesn’t work. Then, and only then, came the imagination. Huh, SO not how I pictured it going… I thought I had to have this big imaginative idea that would blow every one’s mind and THEN I could come up with a plot and an outline, etc. Apparently according to Ann Patchett, this is a very common misconception. Lucky for me, I think, that I’m in good company?
Tonight I decided to skip the “should do” activities scheduled for after the little one was tucked in her bed and work on the novel. (Real estate continuing ed can wait, right?!?) I had already been collecting random thoughts over the last few weeks (read “imagination coming first” here) when I came up with ideas that fit with the book idea I have rattling around loosely in my head. But tonight I started to create an outline from a very high level making notes on each character and how they relate to the other characters. I started to create a plot and overall theme of “what is the book about”. And as I exercised the basic skills of writing (my high school Engish teacher and college professors would be SO proud) the story started to emerge and get me really excited about it. Already I have taken things to a much more inter-twined and complicated level than I thought I could come up with simply using my imagination tool. But, when coming at it from the mechanics, it seemed to just fall into place giving it more depth than I thought I had in me at this stage of the game. I think the imagination has to come later when I really start to write the thing – when I will have to give substance and expression to what I have begun to construct in the mechanics phase.
Lucky for me I had this “little” revelation and bit of success since the newly-formed writing group has set the date for our first meeting and we all have to submit a sample of our writing for discussion. Since I can’t “officially” start writing because of the NaNoWriMo program, we are going to discuss my outline. (I know, I know… ME, following rules! Just go with it…) Look out world, I might just be ready to start this novel when the time comes thanks to the help of all the various outlets I keep stumbling upon (or manifesting, whichever way you want to look at it).
The funny thing? I haven’t picked up a book for almost a week so obsessed I am getting with writing. Stay tuned….
Real food or big joke?
Check out this photo that I came across in the vending aisle of the break room the other day…
Say it with me, “Big Az Bubba Twins”. I know it is a poor quality photo but yes, that is exactly what it says. Is this supposed to be appealing to actual people? Is there REALLY someone out there who would purchase something labeled “Big AZ Bubba Twins”? Never mind that it is frozen chili cheese dogs from a vending machine…. I found myself repeating it over and over again… BIG ASS BUBBA TWINS… And then, of course, I kept repeating it at random moments the rest of the week. All kidding about the name aside, if it hadn’t been $3 to buy it I might have been tempted to do so just so I could see what the ingredient list looks like. You can bet your “BIG AZ” that it doesn’t have anything remotely resembling real food on it! Another example of chemicals in the form of imitation food products that people have been conditioned to think of as real food. My stomach turns thinking of the horror of putting something like that in it. Do you know how many vegetables I can get for $3? And do you know how big one’s AZ would get from eating something like that? At least they have tried to keep SOME truth in the advertising, huh? Friends don’t let friends eat Big Az Bubba Twins.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
How will I live without my Blackberry?!? (OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!)
Now that this whole craziness of quitting my job is getting real and hitting me where the Blackberry rests on my hip I am FREAKING out. Today I reached for my favorite accessory to mapquest where dance camp is for next weekend while sitting at a red light on my commute home. HELLO! Not gonna have that Internet connection on your hip 24/7 in like 16 days… but who’s counting… BESIDES ME!?!?! I believe in a moment of realized panic at what I will be losing I actually embraced the little black beauty and tried to kiss it today.
It is really getting that bad.
How do I stay in touch with friends if it isn’t on Blackberry Messenger WHENEVER I want? How do I ONLY check email when I’ve found free time to actually sit in front of my computer? How do I go back to texting without the beloved querty keyboard? (THE HORROR!) How do I sit through meetings without something to keep me occupied? (Well, clearly I may not need that where I’m going since I’m hoping they just have the productive kind but you never know…) And who – I ask you, WHO! – will look up words on dictionary.com mid-book-club-discussion every month? Oh, and I’m going to need a new alarm clock, too….
Told you, really getting that bad.
Why did I have to drop my personal cell phone in the toilet and WASTE my “new every two” credit so I’m not eligible for an upgrade for another 18 MONTHS. (Could have used the damn crystal ball on that one for sure!) I’m bidding on a used one on eBay but somehow I think my measly 12-dollar max bid won’t do me much good in the next 2 days. Please be an obscure listing and let no one else see MY item… please… please… please…
I think the doctor would diagnose this as withdrawal symptoms… YOU THINK?!?
I might have had too much coffee today but I don’t think that is the only thing that’s happening here…. Universe, send me a cheap blackberry I can afford right now!
Endings and Beginnings
Today marks the end of an era and the birth of what’s next for me! I quit my job today after having accepted a position with a new company. What a wild 3 years it has been and what thrill it is to again have the unknown before me. What will I be remembered for after I’ve departed? My no-nonsense knack f0r getting things done I hope! What role will I come to play in the new company? Someone they come to find they cannot live without I hope! Whatever comes, it is with sadness that I am departing. This is the first time in my professional career that I have merely interviewed for the sake of interviewing since I wasn’t actually in the job market. It has been a year in the making that the new company has been attempting to get me in their ranks and finally the stars were all aligned. I assumed that they couldn’t afford me and I would just interview to keep my skills sharp as my current mentor always advocates. Turns out they liked what they saw so much that they took 3 months to work out an offer that I just couldn’t refuse. I am excited and amazed at how the universe works and things seem to happen for a reason no matter where I turn. Stay tuned as the adventure begins! Right now is one of those times I wish I had a crystal ball to look ahead and see what life holds for me or how things might have been had I decided not to take the new position; but alas the dice have been thrown and the lot has been cast and there’s no turning back.
Learning to live without…
This is a little warning for others out there to never get attached to things that are not really your own! Remember I posted a while back about addictions and the first one I listed was my Blackberry? Yeah, well I’m faced with the possibility of not having a Blackberry any longer… (Reasons why will be announced shortly so stay tuned!) Along the same lines, we have not had our personal computer at home for a couple of weeks while my fabulous brother rebuilds and reformats the hard drive. What an insane time it has been having to explain to the hubby why he can’t use my work laptop to surf for his Internet fix each day like the junkie he is while I found a way to continue blogging using the work PC. (What a double-standard I know but remember I don’t share well!) Of course, I am a cheapskate at heart and instead of purchasing a much-needed new computer we are making the several-years-past-the-expiration-date-of-technology PC we have do for a bit longer. We’ve decided that we need to curb our consumer habits in light of the recent downturn and turmoil in the economy. We need to stop throwing our extra money every month to our out-of-control sushi habit and start putting money away for the inevitable rainy day that is sure to come. I’m certain that this new behaviour will teach me to live without a lot of things as painful as the prospect seems going in!
Here’s something I hope we don’t have to, as a society, learn to live without – financial freedom. I watch what is happening in the financial markets and unless you’re living under a rock you can’t help but wonder what is next and how will we as a society recover? Years ago our fearless leaders in Washington convinced Congress that the American Dream was to own a home and that we should be able to give that to every American citizen (whether they could afford it or not!). And how did we go about making this happen? We deregulated the banking and finance industry and allowed lenders to become greedy and lend to people who really couldn’t afford to purchase a home. Now, the housing market has collapsed and all those people who were banking on being able to refinance their insane adjustable rate mortgages before the monthly payments were so high they couldn’t afford to pay them each month are left with no options and property that doesn’t even appraise for what they owe on it. Result = record numbers of foreclosures and now the banks don’t have the money coming in and can’t recoup. What’s next, no credit for car loans available? Hmmm, with Wachovia being seized this morning by the FDIC and sold off to Chase that could be right around the corner. And what is the only probable way out of this mess? More government control and more loss of “freedom” in what is supposed to be the land of the free. I wonder what else we as a society will be asked to live without. First civil liberties, now financial liberties… what else is there to give?
Universal forces and writing
It is true what they say: once you decide to do something the universe will line things up for you. “Your wish is my command.” I mentioned earlier that I have committed to writing a novel (or at least attempting one!) as part of the National Novel Writing Month program. And I’m working on a plot outline and some characters beforehand so that I have at least half a chance of it all working out. Some of the ideas are coming together nicely and some I am struggling with a bit more than others. Then along comes help from the most unlikely of places. I have a friend in the book club who wrote a book with her husband and asked me to be one of the first readers and give feedback. The focus group of the three of us asked to do this task met last night to discuss the book – what worked, what didn’t, what we thought, etc. It was amazing how the 5 of us in a room breaking down a book and character development and all the other things we talked about gave me insight into what pieces I am missing in my own attempt at creativity. And then, this little idea that came up at book club about starting a writing group came full circle and we decided that we were going to really do it! I’m taking it on to organize it since that’s one of the things I do well – organize. Now I will have a chance to actually write for the sake of writing and have a space to get feedback and grow in my skills. Hell, maybe I’ll become some insanely popular writer and can kiss my “day job” goodbye? Nah, I think it fits my crazy life better if I just have yet another thing that I do… System engineer, project manager, photographer, Realtor, writer and don’t forget wife and mother. It is insanity but I can’t ignore that the pieces are all lining up like it was all meant to be and am just going to hold on for the ride!
The Screwtape Letters
Two words… hated it. OK, perhaps that is a bit unfair but it was exactly how I was feeling before I headed off to book club last night to discuss one of my least favorite reads to date. I thought it was going to be a preachy little discussion where all the very-steeped-in-their-chosen-organized-religion women would feed off one another and devolve into a Sunday school discussion. Of course, I went armed with my more obscure (and what turned out to be thought provoking) quotes from the book and my insistence on religious tolerance for all. The book is written by C.S. Lewis who, I was surprised to find out after only knowing him from my childhood love of the Chronicles of Narnia, wrote more religious books on Christianity in his later years than anything. The book is a collection of letters written by an upper-level demon in Hell to his nephew, Wormwood, who is assigned to temp a human man and secure his soul for the Devil. Written very satirically, it is very hard to read. Each letter can stand on its own as a study of an aspect of the human nature. And, there is no return correspondence to round out the one-sided commentary. Very anti-climactic ending that I almost missed entirely at the end of the last letter. I found myself identifying with the poor devil more than what the author was apparently trying to get me to care about in his religious rhetoric of “thou shalt not”. Several of the quotes I collected through my reading of this work almost make me wonder if the joke wasn’t on those readers who read it superficially and assume they know exactly what Lewis was trying to convey. My favorite quote was this: “Leave them to discuss whether ‘Love’, or patriotism, or celibacy, or candles on altars, or teetotalism, or education, are ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Can’t you see there’s no answer?” If you’re looking for proper Oxford English and satire where God is labeled “the Enemy”, pick up this book. But, I don’t recommend it too highly. Much kudos and affection to my fellow book-clubbers who put up with my innate argumentativeness and never allowing them to get away with blanket stereotype comments on the subject of religion. In other words, thanks for putting up with all my shit and loving me anyway girls!
Terra Luft - View From the Crystal Ball 